"...there is a danger of drowning in a room full of marshmallows never having eaten a single one." Oh my goodness gracious. This line hits so incredibly hard. This was masterfully written and again, highly impactful. Thank you so much for continuing to share your writing.
I think personally I've never really believed in "delayed gratification" as a form of living as much as you describe it, I know how to work hard though too which is why I find the "if I do this then I'll be content, happy, whatever" soo relatable and you do a great job of capsulating that feeling and leadinf it up to this great advice - this is such a good piece
For me, the marshmallow experiment is more of an attempt at showing that patience is rewarded in the long term, that not everything that sits in front of us and can be ours immediately is necessarily the best choice for us. The never-ending chase of a better opportunity/life/partner/job, etc., is ultimately our inability to appreciate what we have accomplished and what we have right now. Always focusing on the future is not letting us live in the present and be happy with ourselves and enjoying life while it actually happens. Learning to do this is very hard because we live in times where we are constantly bombarded with other people’s life versions, comparing ourselves and living in permanent guilt when we are not actively chasing what everyone else is.
I LOVE this interpretation, and I totally agree! If we’re focused on getting the second marshmallow, we can’t appreciate the one right in front of us, and that’s the perfect metaphor for how so many of us are living our lives. I think you’re so right that sometimes it helps to be patient, but also we should balance that with being present and enjoying our lives now. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment!
Love this! I've never really thought about the endless hard work being about delayed gratification. I've built my business around the message of slowing down and aligning ones rhythms with the rhythms of nature and their own biology, but never made the correlation with delayed gratification as one of thee causes.
Just recently I've been toying with the idea of finding a job outside of my entrepreneurial business so I can contribute to our family financially and do some of the things we want to do with our kids. I've literally been telling myself "maybe i just need to with harder to grow my business," catching myself in the lie that if i just tried harder it would work. Something I've helped others unbelieve for years. But the truth is, I get to transport my kids to and from school. Work during their hours. Go to their daytime activities and appointments without having to ask for time off or getting only a limited number of days or hours off.
Are finances tight living on 1 income? Yep, but an getting to see life with my 3 kids. And sustain a business that, although doesn't pay me just yet, pays for itself and the overhead involved with it. Thank you for reminding me that I AM enjoying life and that's the reason I started my business... to cultivate and health, harmony, and happiness for myself and help others do the same. 💚🙏
I love this so much!! Yes, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if we just did a little more, worked a little harder, we could enjoy our life even more, but the truth is so much of the joy in life comes from the moments outside of work and it’s just as important to not encroach on that time and those parts! It sounds like you’ve built a lovely, balanced life! Thank you so much for reading and for your thoughtful comment!
And quite honestly, the beauty in the work that I do is that it is all about cultivating a lifestyle that is in alignment with creating a life you love and can enjoy, no matter what work you are doing. It's about finding the balance in both the challenges and the ease - the work and the rest.
I want my work to be so in alignment with who I am as a person that who my kids see me as when I'm at the studio teaching a class or working with clients is the same person they see at home. And that the message that they're getting is that there can be this balance between challenges and ease, and that we need both but there has to be that balance. When any one of those things is out of balance, the structure has the potential to crumble. So we need both the satisfaction/fulfillment and the itch to succeed. And when they see both of those... when they see me doing the things I don't really want to do or that are challenging for me and take me out of my comfort zone, but then come back into this place of comfort and ease, they see me building stress resilience and hopefully will do the same in their lives in some capacity.
So succinct and well written, as always Caroline. It brings up an interesting perspective on what we all perceive as “success”, too. As someone who always self sabotaged as a child due to low self esteem, I always admired people like you, who could relentlessly grind in the name of “success”. But like you, I never stopped to ask myself what that even meant or where the destination was. Thought provoking stuff!! Can’t wait to read your next one :)
Thank you so much!! And yeah I think that’s the real tough part — if you can’t define the destination or what you’re aiming for then you’ll never know if you got there and you’ll just keep grinding on and on.
Many of the most conventionally successful people teeter on extremes, having borderline addictive personalities. This is what allows them to reach such heights, they're all or nothing. In many ways, it's a hard hand to be dealt, but finding balance is even harder. So, congratulations on doing it, and while still recognizing the value of hard work, especially early in life.
Yes!! You gotta delay a little to earn your way but then eat them before they’re stale! Trying to strike that balance is the hard part and what I’m still trying to figure out haha!
I absolutely loved this!!!! This was such a heartwarming piece. I know that the next time I’m thinking of delaying my gratification for the nth time, I’ll stop to think twice, remembering this essay. Thank you for the read <3
"...there is a danger of drowning in a room full of marshmallows never having eaten a single one." Oh my goodness gracious. This line hits so incredibly hard. This was masterfully written and again, highly impactful. Thank you so much for continuing to share your writing.
Ah Archer I’m so glad you liked it!! Your support means so much :) Thank you for reading and commenting!
I think personally I've never really believed in "delayed gratification" as a form of living as much as you describe it, I know how to work hard though too which is why I find the "if I do this then I'll be content, happy, whatever" soo relatable and you do a great job of capsulating that feeling and leadinf it up to this great advice - this is such a good piece
Thank you so much Zoe! Ugh yes, the “I’ll do this then I’ll be content” is so real! But, as we know, there’s always a next thing!
For me, the marshmallow experiment is more of an attempt at showing that patience is rewarded in the long term, that not everything that sits in front of us and can be ours immediately is necessarily the best choice for us. The never-ending chase of a better opportunity/life/partner/job, etc., is ultimately our inability to appreciate what we have accomplished and what we have right now. Always focusing on the future is not letting us live in the present and be happy with ourselves and enjoying life while it actually happens. Learning to do this is very hard because we live in times where we are constantly bombarded with other people’s life versions, comparing ourselves and living in permanent guilt when we are not actively chasing what everyone else is.
I LOVE this interpretation, and I totally agree! If we’re focused on getting the second marshmallow, we can’t appreciate the one right in front of us, and that’s the perfect metaphor for how so many of us are living our lives. I think you’re so right that sometimes it helps to be patient, but also we should balance that with being present and enjoying our lives now. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment!
You are such an incredible writer!! I enjoyed reading this.
Ah thank you so much Romana! It makes me so happy to hear that!
Love this! I've never really thought about the endless hard work being about delayed gratification. I've built my business around the message of slowing down and aligning ones rhythms with the rhythms of nature and their own biology, but never made the correlation with delayed gratification as one of thee causes.
Just recently I've been toying with the idea of finding a job outside of my entrepreneurial business so I can contribute to our family financially and do some of the things we want to do with our kids. I've literally been telling myself "maybe i just need to with harder to grow my business," catching myself in the lie that if i just tried harder it would work. Something I've helped others unbelieve for years. But the truth is, I get to transport my kids to and from school. Work during their hours. Go to their daytime activities and appointments without having to ask for time off or getting only a limited number of days or hours off.
Are finances tight living on 1 income? Yep, but an getting to see life with my 3 kids. And sustain a business that, although doesn't pay me just yet, pays for itself and the overhead involved with it. Thank you for reminding me that I AM enjoying life and that's the reason I started my business... to cultivate and health, harmony, and happiness for myself and help others do the same. 💚🙏
I love this so much!! Yes, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if we just did a little more, worked a little harder, we could enjoy our life even more, but the truth is so much of the joy in life comes from the moments outside of work and it’s just as important to not encroach on that time and those parts! It sounds like you’ve built a lovely, balanced life! Thank you so much for reading and for your thoughtful comment!
And quite honestly, the beauty in the work that I do is that it is all about cultivating a lifestyle that is in alignment with creating a life you love and can enjoy, no matter what work you are doing. It's about finding the balance in both the challenges and the ease - the work and the rest.
I want my work to be so in alignment with who I am as a person that who my kids see me as when I'm at the studio teaching a class or working with clients is the same person they see at home. And that the message that they're getting is that there can be this balance between challenges and ease, and that we need both but there has to be that balance. When any one of those things is out of balance, the structure has the potential to crumble. So we need both the satisfaction/fulfillment and the itch to succeed. And when they see both of those... when they see me doing the things I don't really want to do or that are challenging for me and take me out of my comfort zone, but then come back into this place of comfort and ease, they see me building stress resilience and hopefully will do the same in their lives in some capacity.
thank you for this Caroline ❤️ I think I’m closer than ever to letting go and just enjoying, but I really needed to read this
ahhh eve that makes me so happy to hear! Thank you for reading :)
I really love it, also the ending was so fulfilling for me, thank you for sharing it with us and enjoy the marshmallows!
thank you so so much for reading and commenting! I'm so glad it resonated with you :)
Thank you so much for sharing this. So inspiring. And the craft of this essay is lovely, bookending the marshmallow experiment 💜
Aw thank you so much for reading Brenden! I’m so so glad you enjoyed it, and really appreciate that you spotted that structural choice :)
So succinct and well written, as always Caroline. It brings up an interesting perspective on what we all perceive as “success”, too. As someone who always self sabotaged as a child due to low self esteem, I always admired people like you, who could relentlessly grind in the name of “success”. But like you, I never stopped to ask myself what that even meant or where the destination was. Thought provoking stuff!! Can’t wait to read your next one :)
Thank you so much!! And yeah I think that’s the real tough part — if you can’t define the destination or what you’re aiming for then you’ll never know if you got there and you’ll just keep grinding on and on.
Many of the most conventionally successful people teeter on extremes, having borderline addictive personalities. This is what allows them to reach such heights, they're all or nothing. In many ways, it's a hard hand to be dealt, but finding balance is even harder. So, congratulations on doing it, and while still recognizing the value of hard work, especially early in life.
Exactly!! Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! Sometimes the hardest work of all is the balancing act!
wowwww, this is such an incredible piece caroline!! i will be making sure i eat my marshmallows too hehe
I’m so glad you enjoyed it Chloe! Yes eat that marshmallow!
The marshmallows taste the sweetest for having earned them.
Yes!! You gotta delay a little to earn your way but then eat them before they’re stale! Trying to strike that balance is the hard part and what I’m still trying to figure out haha!
So good 💕 you’ve given me a lot to think about
I absolutely loved this!!!! This was such a heartwarming piece. I know that the next time I’m thinking of delaying my gratification for the nth time, I’ll stop to think twice, remembering this essay. Thank you for the read <3
Ah that is so good to hear! Yes! We have to start letting ourselves enjoy life a little bit!
❤️✨🫶🏼
Thank you so much for reading Mica :)
This is absolutely beautiful and so perfectly put— saving to reread (and then read again).
Thank you so much Amelia!! I’m so glad you enjoyed it :)